The End Is Here...
The Day of Digital Destruction
The Callous Conflagration of All We Hold Dear
I am more sorry than you could ever possibly comprehend.
Despite our herculaen efforts, and the many achievements we have made,
they have nonetheless delivered their psychic poison directly into the artery of the gamerverse...
steam.
Those poor, sad, lonely, naive, poor, and woefully undereducated "indie enthusiasts" are now mainlining this travesty.
And the worst part is, they could just grab a free emulator and acquire a ROM of one of the classics, one of the greats,
one of the many timeless masterpieces that hath been graced upon gamedom.
But no, those beasts of virtual burden must cash in on the parasocial clout of discovering "the next Goose Game".
So here we are... nothing left to do but hold tight, and wait for father time to deliver justice: the inevitable day
when everyone forgets this farce and moves onto the next 2.5D metanarrative puzzleventure...
maybe it'll be a roguelike too, wouldn't that just be a slap in the face.
If you wish to harass the developers on the search for answers, email them at:
glootschkegames@gmail.com
If you need material for disseminating the evil behind the developers' corrupt lies,
the presskit is here.
Most importantly, if you have the primal urge to join my Gamer Army on this righteous path to Truth, we have an epic discord link below:
YOU'VE BEEN INVITED TO JOIN A MOVEMENT
What is the Greatest RPG?
Join
HEY, YOU! YEAH YOU!!!
Welcome to my humble site. I don't know what brought you here,
but I can only assume that you, like me, have an impossibly curious mind
and an ardent yearning for justice.
My name is Noah. I am an enjoyer of many things, but my heart only knows one maiden,
gaming. And right now, she is being smeared, besmirched, and, dare I say, pwned.
There is a game, a remake of a game, that has been released by a mysterious cohort of no-name devs.
"Oh great, another remake no one wanted" I hear you say. But here's the thing, no one even
could want this as, I contend, the game they claim to be remaking doesn't even exist.
Yet, look! They have a
trailer and a
steam page!
They actually expect people to be fooled by this, but the sad part is, they are.
Even in Japan, the RPG Mecca, journalists have been bamboozled by these charletons.
So, it seems that my fair maiden has given me the most noble of quests,
to expose this game for what it truly is: a despicable ruse.
I really only have one question I aim to answer, and here on this site
you will find the log of my intellectual crusade to find this answer.
And the question? Well, it's simple.
What is the greatest RPG of all time?
Seems like the devs can't answer it. The press can't answer it.
Heck, even my best friend Antonio - a veritable Encyclopedia Japanica - couldn't answer it.
Well, don't you worry your pretty little face, cus I'm on the case!
And I will find the answers, no matter the cost...
Good News!!!
I have started a modest discord to accompany my humble site.
If you are a true investigator looking for the speediest delivery of epic updates then join now!
JOIN HERE!!!!!
